So even though I have only just started the surrogacy process, I am getting a lot of questions already. Here’s my best shot to answer some of them – though I know that more will crop up.
Q: How will you give the baby up? Won’t you miss it?
A: It’s not my baby. I’m not giving him/her/them up. I’m giving him BACK. I’m going into this knowing full well that this baby does not belong to me. Of course I would love to see pictures and get updates, but I don’t want another baby of my own. I’m not worried.
Q: Won’t it be half yours?
A: No. It will have no genetic relation to me at all. We will be using IM’s egg and IF’s sperm. The embryo(s) will be created in the lab, and transferred into my uterus somewhere between 3-5 days of age – though they will likely be frozen at that stage a couple months before they are implanted.
Q: When will you get pregnant?
A: I don’t know yet. The screening appointment is March 17. If all goes well and the RE approves me, then we have to get contracts going, and meds started. I’m guessing the earliest we would transfer would be May.
Q: Meds? What meds?
A: Again, I don’t know for sure. The RE will tailor a medication schedule as he sees fit. Commonly, surrogates are given a combination of estrogen and progesterone. Sometimes as shots, sometimes as vaginal suppositories. Other medications could include but are not limited to blood thinners. I will have to bring all my immunizations up to date as well if they are not already.
Q: What does this screening involve?
A: I don’t know all the details myself. I know there is a counselling part of it, where they tell me exactly what is involved in becoming a surrogate, and evaluate if they think I am psychologically able to go through everything to have a baby for someone else, and that I won’t have issues returning the baby to its family once all is said and done. I know that I will have blood tests done, and I know that they have to perform tests on my uterus to make sure it is healthy, and has a good chance of the Embryo implanting.
Q: What do all these abbreviations that you keep using mean?
A: IP = Intended Parents, IM = Intended Mother, IF = Intended Father, RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist, PCRM = the fertility company we are using, BFP = Big Fat Positive (pregnancy test) BFN = Big Fat Negative, _dp_dt = _ days past _ day transfer (ie, taking a pregnancy test at 4dp5dt means 4 days after transferring a 5 day old embryo).
Q: Why am I doing this?
A: I’ve always felt the need to give back in any way I can. I feel very fortunate to have such wonderful kids in my life and I want others to have the same joy. I can’t afford to help people out financially, but growing babies is something I am good at. And the gift of a child is a gift that lasts a lifetime. It’s some real good that I can do in this world. I feel called to it, and I can’t wait to make a family’s dreams come true.
I know more will come up, but that’s all I can think of for now. Check back later for more.
The Baker
justthebaker 