1 Week Postpartum

I delivered my beautiful surro-baby 1 week ago today. Most of the time I feel great. Don’t get me wrong, my stomach hurts, and my breasts ache, and feel bruised from all the pumping. But I delivered a beautiful baby girl into her parents waiting arms, and that is a miracle. I am so blessed to be a part of it. And so lucky that her mama sends me photos, often. It truly was one of the best experiences of my life. The pregnancy was easy, and I developed an amazing, wonderful friendship with the parents. I don’t regret it for a minute. And I don’t miss the baby – Scarlett – either. I do love to see the pictures of her, happy and healthy with her family. I kind of feel like she’s a special niece. I have been pumping like crazy for Scarlett. Every 2 hours during the day, and every 3 hours at night, for half an hour at a time. With washing pump parts and bottles, this means each pump session lasts about 45 minutes. Honestly, without the pumping (and sore incision) I would hardly believe I just had a baby a week ago. Life pretty much feels back to normal – except that I’m off work for a few weeks. It’s hard to get up at night to pump! I haven’t slept more than 2 hours in a row since Scarlett was born. But since I don’t have her here with me, I can (and do) nap whenever I feel like it. I’m keeping Caitlyn in daycare until my incision is more healed, and then will take her three days a week for the remainder of my maternity leave, to keep her in her routine, and keep our spot at the daycare. And the boys are in school, so Monday to Friday it’s just me. I sent off my first shipment of breastmilk to Scarlett today. Just over 100 oz of milky goodness! It makes me happy to think she’ll be getting my milk. 

So now, to the times I’m not happy. I really, really hate that I had a c-section. I never wanted a section. I was so set and focused on having a natural birth, that I never thought it would go the other way. I really feel cheated out of the birth I wanted. I knew that her heart rate was fast, but I didn’t understand that it was fast enough to be worried. I was completely unprepared when the OB said I needed a c-section. And then I had no time to process it. My doctor jumped right into an explanation of what they would do to me in the OR, and I just stood there and listened. I couldn’t even answer, because I would have started crying. And I didn’t want to cry, because Scarlett’s mommy and daddy were right there with me, and I didn’t want them to know how upset I was. If it had been my own baby I would have done things so differently. They gave me the option, instead of a c-section, to have scalp gases drawn from the baby’s head, which would give us a better idea of if she was really in trouble. They would have had to be repeated every half hour. If it was my baby, I would have done that. But I thought it would be too hard on her parents. Specifically because of things they have experienced in the past. When we got to the OR, the baby’s heart rate went back down to normal. They gave me the option to go back and labor some more. If it was my baby, I would have done that. But I knew that if I left the OR with the baby still inside me, her mommy and daddy would be nervous wrecks. So I told them to just do the section. But I never wanted a c-section, and it is so hard for me to accept. I think it made things all a bit more surreal too. I felt like I didn’t get a chance to labor. Before this birth I had always delivered babies post-term. All my kids were late. To have my water break at 36 weeks was so unexpected. And then I only made it to 2cm before they decided to cut her out of me. I never even got to the point of real, uncomfortable labor. And then I was numb, and she was out. It was too fast, too early, and too easy (but not the recovery, ha!)

And I worry. I really wanted to do another surrogacy journey. Words cannot express just how wonderful this whole experience has been (except the c-section). And I really want to do it again. But now that I delivered a baby at 36 weeks and 1 day, will I get approved to carry again? I know some clinics will approve as early as a 35 week delivery, but others require no earlier than 37. I don’t know about the clinics near me. And I don’t want to take a chance with someone else’s baby. What if I deliver even earlier next time? I would feel awful if a baby had to be in the NICU because I didn’t carry it long enough. If I do get approved again, will I be able to VBAC? I don’t want another c-section. I so wish that I hadn’t had this one. 

The Baker

Surprise! Baby is here!

Well a certain little girl was very anxious to make her arrival into this world and meet her mommy and daddy. On Friday January 22 at 36 weeks and 1 day pregnant, I woke up at 5:41 am to my water breaking spectacularly all over my bed. I have never delivered before 40 weeks, so this was quite a shock to me. I called IM while still lying in a puddle, and then got up to shower and get ready to come to the hospital. I didn’t even have my bag packed yet, so I was really unprepared. I arrived at the hospital shortly after 7 and checked in. I had had the group B swab taken on Wednesday, but the results were not back yet, so we had to assume that I was positive, and treat proactively. This meant that I had to receive IV antibiotics throughout labor, and that I was on a clock. Contractions had initially started on their own after my water broke, but they were mild and didn’t last long before going away altogether. So the decision was made to start pitocin. That was around 10am. My doctor came in to check me later, around 2pm. I was sitting at 2cm dilated, and contracting nicely, but the doctor noted that Baby’s heart rate was quite high. She ended up calling in the OB for a second opinion, and then things changed very quickly. The OB came in at 2:30, and after looking at the strip monitoring the baby I was given half an hour to see if things changed, and if not we were heading to c-section. She left the room, and my doctor started explaining to me what would happen in the OR. It was obvious at that point that no one expected a natural delivery to happen. At 3pm the OB came back and the decision was made. Baby had been tachycardic for 5 hours by then. If I was close to delivery they would have let us ride it out, but I was still at 2 cm, and looking at several hours to go. So I was prepped and moved into the OR. IM was allowed into the OR with me, but she was the only one allowed. IF, my doula, and the birth photographer waited outside. It was a very surreal experience. I felt like I hadn’t even had a chance to labor, and I think I was in a bit of shock that we had ended up in the OR so quickly – especially given that I’ve had three perfectly normal, healthy vaginal deliveries. I was so confident in my own body’s ability to deliver a baby that it never even occurred to me that I might end up in a c-section due to a baby in distress. The OR team let IM watch over the drape as they delivered the baby, and then she got to cut the cord. Baby girl was beautiful and healthy, and had perfect lungs, even 4 weeks early. She was 6lbs 13oz. I hear that I had a slight bleed in the OR, so it took a bit longer to put me back together, but I am okay, and baby is perfect. I lucked out to get a private room, which is great because it meant that IM was able to stay with me and Baby. IF and big sister stayed in a hotel near by. 

This whole journey has been an amazing experience from beginning to end. The last two days have been wonderful, watching mommy and daddy and big sister bonding with baby. There were lots of tears when it was time to say goodbye. Happy tears though ☺️ I could not have asked for a better experience. My heart is so full.  I won’t share pictures right now, as I need permission first, but I hope that I will be allowed to share the birth photos soon.

Keep watching for more 🙂

The Baker

33 weeks

 

Well it’s midnight here, so I can officially say I’m 33 weeks pregnant lol. Today (yesterday?) I had an ultrasound and OB appointment. The parents came over as usual, and it was great to catch up with them. This time they brought their daughter… Who has only just found out about the baby! They told her on Christmas 💗 They sent me a video of the big reveal, but I can’t repost it. They had her look under the Christmas tree for a gift. Inside a gift bag she found a pink soother. She looked at it and said “it’s cute” lol. They asked her if she thought it meant something and she said “my soother!” And popped it in her mouth haha. She’s 6, I might add. And then her mom told her that she has a baby sister coming, and she started jumping up and down and screaming in excitement. It was truly the most amazing thing to see. Moments like this are why I became a surrogate 💗 So anyway, tody was the first time Big Sis had seen me both since I was showing, and since she found out about the baby. She was super shy, and wouldn’t touch my belly to feel her sister moving, despite her mom’s best efforts to get her to. I think she was overwhelmed. My IPs tried to get the hospital staff to allow Big Sis to come in and see the baby on ultrasound, but unfortunately, they would not budge on the policy, and she ended up having to wait outside. Baby girl is doing great though. Still measuring huge at 5lbs 4oz already. She looks as healthy as can be, and the pregnancy is progressing perfectly. The OB that we saw today was wonderful. She confirmed that we are going to induce at 38 weeks on Feb 4, 2016. This is mostly due to the fact that there is an unexplained stillbirth in the parents history, but also because she is going to be BIG! And for the parents peace of mind – they have been through so much to get here, they will not be okay until this baby is safely in their arms. The birth photographer that the parents have chosen also met us at the hospital today. It was great to meet her, and talk over a few expectations – mostly to ensure that we don’t end up with a bunch of super graphic pics of me that the parents are stuck with for life lol. She seems like a nice woman, and I can’t wait to see the pics when all is said and done!

I am having a hard time believing that I’m really almost done cooking this baby. 33 weeks today, and I still feel good! I don’t feel overly massive, I’m not super uncomfortable. I do wake up 10 times a night to pee haha, and heartburn has been tearing it’s head lately, but all in all, it’s been an easy pregnancy. I’m not sure I’m ready to have this journey end so soon. But I can’t wait to see this baby in her parents arms. 💞

In non pregnancy related news, my son got his cast off today. He’s terrified to use his arm, and insists it still hurts, but the doctor says it is okay. It’s still very crooked though, and it worries me.

  Me at 33 weeks pregnant.
  Braeden’s arm, 3 weeks post break on the left, 6 weeks post break on the right.
The Baker.

Back in action, gender reveal and more!

First I just want to apologize. I’ve been having trouble getting onto the blog, and haven’t been able to update for quite some time. Every time I tried to log in, the site kept crashing on me. 

Lots has happened since I last updated. At my doctors appointment in mid November my belly was measuring a whopping 6 weeks ahead! I won’t deny I was feeling a little apprehensive about how big this baby might be! I had another ultrasound on November 30, and had a great time seeing my IPs. I just love spending time with them! We weren’t able to get any good pictures of baby at that ultrasound, as it had its face stuffed into the placenta. But we did get some very interesting visuals. We could see that the baby was sucking, even see its tongue moving. But rather than sucking on a thumb or a fist, it seemed to be sucking directly on the placenta! The ultrasound technician was fascinated. She said she had never seen a baby do that before. She also showed us the baby’s teeth buds. Baby – now nicknamed Cherub as it’s too big to be an Emby anymore, is indeed measuring big – but only by about 2 weeks, not 6. Cherub is also head down now.

I’ve had one more doctors appointment since then, and everything is still looking great. Blood pressure is great, belly is measuring 4 weeks ahead instead of 6. Gestational diabetes scan can back negative too. So yes, baby is measuring big, but that’s just genetics, not diabetes. 

So all along, the IPs have chosen not to know the baby’s gender. This Sunday I got a big surprise when I received an email from the geneticist who had done our Harmony test way back in the first trimester. IM had emailed her to ask about the baby’s gender! Because the blood test had been performed on me, I had to authorize the release of the information – which is pretty silly considering that it’s THEIR baby! Of course I said yes immediately. IM called me shortly after, soooooo excited! She had opened the email, to discover that she is going to have a baby….. Girl!!!💞💞💞💞 I don’t think she could have been happier. A girl was exactly what she wanted! IF did not know yet. She was trying to surprise him 🙂 last night she put a pink soother in a box with a note from Cherub and had him open it. So now they both know, and everyone is thrilled! They haven’t told their daughter about the baby yet… But that is coming soon 🙂

I think that’s about all the pregnancy related news. Non-pregnancy wise, my middle child, Braeden broke his arm on November 19. Another kid at school pushed him off the playground, and he snapped both bones in his left forearm – which of course is his dominate arm. He had to have it surgically reset, and has been in a full cast up to his armpit ever since. We go back to the cast clinic for his next check up on Dec 30. Incidentally, sleeping in those little pull out hospital chairs is never exactly comfortable. Sleeping in one at 6 months pregnant is less so!

So that’s all for now. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

   
    
 
The Baker

Happy Hallowe’en!

Tomorrow is hallowe’en, and the kidlets are so excited 🙂 My kids are going to be Anna, Thor, and a gladiator.

  
Emby was so excited, s/he thought it would be great to get in on the fun too!

  
Haha. We are all excited for trick or treating tomorrow 🙂

Today we had our monthly ultrasound and OB appointment.  Emby is looking great, and at 24 weeks and 1 day along, is already measuring in at a whopping 1lb 11oz! My IPs are starting to feel like this is actually real. It was great to see them at the appointment today, and we saw some amazing images. Unfortunately we weren’t able to get a good pic of it, but we saw a great, almost 3D looking angle of Emby’s face. S/he is looking very cute!! Here is a profile shot, showing Emby all curled up with his/her legs over the head!

  
I also did my gestational diabetes screen last week, and passed with flying colours. My iron is a little low, but that’s all. So a simple iron supplement for 4 weeks, and I should be good to go. This pregnancy is just flying by!

The Baker

22 weeks

Today I am 22 weeks pregnant. Since we are planning an induction at 38 weeks, that means I have only 16 weeks left! I cannot believe how quickly this pregnancy is flying by. Emby is starting to get big now. I’m feeling the kicks and punches much more lately. They feel strong enough that I think I should be able to feel them from outside, but Emby is being a little stinker, and stops moving every time I put my hand on my belly 😊 I am still feeling great, and marvelling in how easy this pregnancy has been so far. Other than a slight backache now and then, and the occasional random bout of vomiting, I feel great! I am starting to get very excited for my IPs. We have almost reached viability! I have hired a doula, who I am looking forward to working with, and my IPs have hired a birth photographer, which I’m also very excited about! Pregnancy wise there is nothing much going on, so that’s about all 😊 I will leave you with a belly picture from yesterday ☺️

  
The Baker

OB visit and Anatomy Scan

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, and that’s because there wasn’t much going on. Well now that’s changed. Last week IM came over for our consult with the OB. Where I live, OB’s don’t do primary care for pregnancies. You get referred to them if you have complications. My doctor has been very clear from the outset that she does not consider this to be a high risk pregnancy, although she does understand why my IPs are worried. I can’t get into details, but suffice to say that there is a lot of history.  My doctor referred us to the OB, but told me that she didn’t expect him to keep following us. It turned out that the OB appointment went great. He was very understanding, and will do anything he can to keep my IPs comfortable. So we will have an ultrasound every 4 weeks for the remainder of the pregnancy, and then a visit with the OB to discuss the results. I will be monitored closely, and I will likely be induced at 38 weeks, because of the IPs history, and the fact that this baby is their genetic material, so even though I am housing the baby for the next few months, the genetics are still in play. So that’s that, and IM and I both left that appointment feeling pleased that it had gone so well. 

Fast forward a bit. Yesterday we had our 19 week anatomy ultrasound. Here is sweet Emby’s profile picture!

  
Emby is measuring right on track. They did find a small cyst, but the doctor assures us that it’s a very common finding, and that Emby is okay. But if course, it’s still a scary thing to hear, and positive thoughts are appreciated.

We did not find out baby’s gender, the IPs have not decided if the want to know or not. So for now we are on team yellow. I’ll leave you with a couple more cute ultrasound pics.

  Baby face 🙂
  Feet
  Hands.
Please keep us in your thoughts. ❤️

The Baker

16 Weeks

Today marks 16 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I still have a hard time believing that this is really happening! I have had a little more morning sickness in the second trimester so far, but still nothing to get worked up over. I just have to make sure that I don’t get too hungry, or it comes on fast. But it never lasts long, and it’s not so bad. I am feeling Emby moving more often now, but my placenta is right smack in front, so it is harder to notice. I feel it most often if I am sitting or lying still and quiet, and especially if something is putting slight pressure on my belly. I still listen to Emby’s heartbeat with the Doppler every night, and will continue to do so until I can feel him/her moving regularly through the day. S/he must be growing like crazy though, I think I have finally popped!

  
Definitely starting to look pregnant… But still oh so flabby. I had way more belly fat when I started this journey than I did when I was pregnant with my own kiddos, and I can sure tell. As pregnant as I may look standing still, as soon as I start walking, or sit down it’s all still just jiggly fat. Sometimes I wonder if my belly will ever get truly hard and pregnant looking. I hope so – my poor IPs will never feel the baby kicking through all my blubber!

Not much has been going on pregnancy related lately. My kids and I have just gotten home from a week away at a nearby resort, which was lovely. This month will be full of pregnancy appointments moving forward though! I have an appointment with my maternity doctor on September 10, an appointment with a perinatologist on Sept 18 to see if this pregnancy is high risk due to the genetic factors of the parents, and an anatomy ultrasound on Sept 24. Busy, busy, busy!

That’s all for now 🙂

The Baker

Hello Second Trimester

Today I am 13 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I saw my doctor yesterday and she says that I am officially in the second trimester! The genetic testing that we had done last week has all come back now. We knew right after the ultrasound that things looked great, but it was awesome to get the blood tests back and hear that baby is healthy and well! The tests came back with less than a 0.01% chance of any of the Trisomies. They also tested the sex chromosomes, which we are told came back perfect. The fertility clinic now knows the gender of the baby, but my IPs would like it to be a surprise, so the report that we received was censored to take out the gender. My doctor was disappointed that she also received a censored report! If my IPs change their mind about knowing the gender at any point during the pregnancy, they can call the fertility clinic to ask, as they will always have it on file. 
My IM met my doctor for the first time yesterday, and I think for the most part it went well. My doctor is the sweetest person. She is very caring, and I have always gotten along with her well. But I was worried because I knew that IM wanted me to see an OB because of the complications that she had in her own pregnancies. My doctor was able to explain to her that things are different here. We have a shortage of doctors on the island, and as a result, there are only 6 OBs in the entire city of about 350,000 people. So none of the OBs here do primary care for pregnancies. It’s just not feasible. Patients see doctors or midwives, and if the pregnancy is high risk they can see a perinatalogist as well, but they are in addition to the regular maternity doctor. And there is always an OB on the maternity ward at the hospital. So my doctor is referring us to a perinatalogist for a consult, based on IMs history. But she also told me that based on the results of the genetic testing, and the fact that we have now reached the second trimester, the chances of loss at this point are less than 1%. She believes this pregnancy will progress normally and well from here on out.
We have asked for extra ultrasounds during this pregnancy, because of IMs history, and my doctor has agreed. Our next ultrasound will be the anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks. After that we will have scans approximately once a month until Emby is born! I am grateful to my doctor for being accommodating, and relieved that I will get to keep her as my primary care physician during this pregnancy. 
I have been feeling really well so far in this pregnancy. I’ve had a few random bouts of puking, and can’t handle certain food textures any more, but for the most part I feel great. I’ve been tired, and my boobs are sore, but I’ve barely had any morning sickness, and barely any heartburn. I often just don’t feel pregnant at all. I’m glad that I have my Doppler to hear that heartbeat, or sometimes I would think this is all a crazy dream! 
Have a wonderful weekend.
The Baker

First trimester screening

Today we had our long-awaited first trimester screening. This meant yet another trip to Vancouver for me. I decided not to bring the kidlets, which was a good idea, because we spent many hours sitting and waiting. The ferry ride over was uneventful, but driving to the Clinic was very slow. I sure am glad I don’t live in Vancouver! I arrived at the clinic at 11:50am. They had us in for bloodwork by 12:15. Three big vials, two of which are being sent off to California for the NIPT test (non invasive prenatal testing). Then we sat around and waited. And waited… And waited… Finally got called in for our ultrasound around 1:30. I am so very happy to report that Emby is doing great!! There were no markers to show any risks for Down Syndrome, or any of the other Trisomies. Emby’s heartbeat was a whopping 186, probay because this is one very active little baby! S/he was doing back flips throughout the ultrasound. It was quite amazing to see.  Here’s a very blurry pic – simply because Emby was flipping when he snapped it!

  
It’s hard to tell, but the head is on the right.  

After the ultrasound we were sent back to the waiting room to wait some more for our turn to see the genetic counsellor. We didn’t get in to see her until about 2:45! But it was worth the wait, because she had the great news to tell us that Emby is looking amazing! It was such a relief for my IPs to hear.

By the time I got out of there it was about 3 pm. I decided that since it is a Friday night I had better head straight to the ferries rather than going to lunch with my IPs. But first they had a surprise for me! IF went to his car, and came back with an air conditioner for my house! What a sweet couple I have found to go on this journey with. It was so sweet I laughed, and then I cried. I could not have found a more amazing couple. Hugs went out all around and then I headed to the ferries. Being a Friday in August, there was a big wait. I got to the ferries at 4, and just boarded the 6pm ferry home. I should be home around 8 tonight, just in time to tuck my kidlets into bed. It’s been a long day, but so worth it! I now officially done seeing the RE, and will be sticking with my own doctors from here on out. That means a doctors appointment next Friday, at which time we will also ask for a referral to an OB, as IM would like me to see one, as well as my own doctor. The RE has recommended that we do extra ultrasounds at weeks 24,28 and 36 due to IM’s history. So we will try to get that going.

Have a great weekend! I know I will!

The Baker